how ya feel how ya feel

talk about tumblr abandonment! hahaha i’ve finally reached a point in my life
where i’m literally too busy to just lounge around and sit on my laptop all day,
reblogging pictures. work has got me wrapped around its finger, 6 days a week.
and when i do have my day off, i’m too exhausted to function and end up sleeping
all day, or just laying in bed, feeling the exhaustion flow through my body.
nothing good comes of being 20, paying bills and tuition is not the bizz.
i miss being a kid, not having to care about any of that :(
but then again, i like being busier than life itself.

on a totally different note, i’ve officially accepted the fact that i have abandonment
and attachment issues. i get close to people too easily and let them in my life
way too fast. i mean that’s not a problem, until they just disappear all of a sudden.
i hate that i put more into friendships than i get out. everyone ALWAYS leaves,
even if they say they won’t. i’m officially scared to let anyone get close, or become a ”best friend”, for the sole reason of getting hurt when they leave…
i don’t even know what a best friend is anymore, i thought it was the people i’ve used that on, until they’ve proved to be everything but that. i’m socially awkward.
and i’ve found myself in a situation where i don’t know how to talk to people 
anymore cause i’ve shut down. but i mean, open heart open mind mentality has
gotten me far, i just don’t want to risk it anymore i suppose.
complete rant, that was way too necessary.  
sorry tumblr! hope everyone is well.